BRANDON!! ASSOCIATES PAUL, JASON AND MINDY!! INTERNS ALLISON AND JAKE!! WE ARE DOING THIS!!

I've teased it, and I've wanted to restart THE ORIGINAL Where Things Stand series. SO BADLY.

I've been afraid of burnout or not having enough time, making Where Things Stand: MLB Edition a chore more than a fun time.

Even though we're still hunting down Intern Zack (Read 2023 NFL Edition Part 4 as to why), WHERE THINGS STAND: MLB EDITION IS BACK!!!

At least for 2024. There's a club option like all of the 'Boras Four’ Clients on future editions.

God, so much has changed since 2021!!! So many new narratives are needed given the hiatus this series has been on.

Cleveland no longer has Terry Francona. AND FRANCONA WENT WHERE?!?!?!

Shohei Ohtani became the world's biggest baseball star and got a $700 million contract from the Dodgers ($680 million is deferred until after that). He also helped propel the Dodgers to glory and brought another championship to Los Angeles.

The Orioles emerged from hell with several of the players I mentioned as bright spots nearly three years ago.

And Atlanta won the 2021 World Series after I dismissed that team as a joke. They instead have become an absolute juggernaut… if not for every big name player getting injured this year.

We intended to have this come out in early October, but…… hunting down Zack and some other personal matters meant we had to delay and delay.

So of all the things I hate doing, we’re ****** going rogue!!

OH C’MON, BRANDON!!! LET ME HAVE MY FUN!!!

Fine! We’re breaking one of the foundational rules of a ‘Where Things Stand’ piece: POSTSEASONS RESULTS WILL BE IN THESE 2024 NARRATIVES!!!! I guess you could call it: The complete 2024 edition.

Assignments from 2023 and 2024 NFL Edition will carry into the 2024 MLB Edition.

Get ready for all the humor, snark and analysis you could ever need, people!! LET'S GET TO THE SHREDDING!!!!!

We also have the playoff teams, and the designations are as follows:

Oh wait. This old template came before the expanded postseason! NEW DESIGNATIONS!!

X for the division winners

Y for wild cards

Z for Top 2 Seed in each league (Bye into NLDS/ALDS)

DISCLAIMER: The views in WTS are mine and mine alone, with some exaggeration and hyperbole here and there.

*Note: All team page hyperlinks are to Baseball Reference. Records are through Sept. 29.

***BEFORE I FORGET!!!! I am giving everyone a heads up that there is a trigger warning on two hyperlinks in the Cleveland section that some may want to avoid clicking on, as it deals with potential self-harm, etc. They are both regarding things Rick Manning said, so please don’t click those links unless you are comfortable.

If you need help and are ever feeling like things are too much, call the suicide and crisis hotline at 988. It’s available 24 hours a day. I’ve had people I knew of in college that took their lives, so please know that no matter what, someone will be there for you.

AL East

Z – NY Yankees: 94-68

Y – Baltimore: 91-71

Boston: 81-81

Tampa Bay: 80-82

Toronto: 74-88

State of the AL East:

Classless: Time to ‘Weird Al Yankovich’ this franchise!!

~Start spreading the lose! The Yankees lost again!~

I could have let everything slide from the ALCS. Yes, Juan Soto, Aaron Judge and Giancarlo Stanton – among others – showed up before disappearing in the World Series. Not to mention the defense in Game 5!

You want to know why this classless organization is getting shredded? Pure pettiness!

One of the Top 5 payrolls in the game beat a Cleveland team with far less, and if not for a terrible strike three call against Lane Thomas, that series goes back to New York!

~WOW!! I am so impressed!~ Congratulations, spoiled brats!!

Oh, and let’s not forget you jackasses!!! You got your tickets refunded and banned from Game 5 at MLB’s request to the franchise.

I’m echoing Chipper Jones’ post for a moment here.

They ASKED???? MLB ASKED THE YANKEES?!

I'll guarantee you this: If it were a fan in ANY small or non-historical mid-market franchise, they would drop the BANHAMMER on them!!! Zero hesitation. The only reason they’re not (speculatively speaking) is they paid well north of $1,000 to get those seats!!

Judge choked against the champions.

Juan Soto is a free agent.

AND YOU ARE LOSERS FOR THE 16TH SEASON IN A ROW!!!!!

I hope that Soto joins the Dodgers this winter. Let’s rub some salt in the wound.

Heck, in the original draft of the 2024 Edition I wrote up prior to the postseason, I jotted this down:

“It would be even more hilarious if the Bronx Bombers do make a deep run, and Soto leaves them high and dry.”

Let there be salt coming from the Bronx!

Baltimore: “Trey Mancini should win comeback player of the year (because screw cancer), and Cedric Mullins looks to be on his way to stardom after abandoning switch hitting during the offseason and getting a starting nod for the All-Star game.

There’s further hope on the farm, as catcher Adley Rutschman and pitchers Grayson Rodgriguez and DL Hall should all be ready by next season.

The O’s aren’t back to relevance yet, but they’ll be able to have some fun in 2022.”

BEND THE KNEE FOR I AM FITZRADAMUS!! I called it!!

Associate Paul, please make sure the ‘Fitzradamus Counter’ is ready.

Yes, I know they flamed out down the stretch but let me take my victory lap after three years!!

Cedric Mullins isn’t a true star, but Adley Rustchsman has delivered in spades, Grayson Rodriguez is a solid rotation option (sidelined for the playoffs), and DL Hall was flipped for former Cy Young winner Corbin Burnes.

This lineup is lethal, with Jordan Westburg, Ryan Mountcastle, Ryan O’Hearn, and prospects like Keston Hjerstad, Jackson Holliday, and Coby Mayo either getting a taste of the big leagues or knocking on the door.

Too bad for Connor Norby. He was sacrificed to the Marlins for Trevor Rogers.

Perhaps the most impressive player on the roster has been shortstop Gunnar Henderson. Before turning 23-years-old on June 29, Henderson accumulated a six fWAR (Fangraphs Wins Above Replacement) through June 28.

Barry Bonds in 2002 was the closest to Henderson for fWAR at that point in the season. You can shout steroids all you want for Bonds; that man was a monster, and Henderson is doing this AS A SHORTSTOP!!

I’ll let Sarah Lang’s post give you an idea of how few shortstops have hit 26 homers through 80 games like Henderson.

I’m slightly disappointed they let the Yankees slip past them, but they at least punched a ticket to October.

If you’re new owner David Rubenstein (Buh-bye Angelos family!!!), here’s the issue: Corbin Burnes is a free agent. Will Baltimore shell out the cash for him (minimum floor of AT WORST $150 million) or spread the wealth between the homegrown stars like Rutschman and Henderson?

That’s a heckuva conundrum. I’m glad I’m not the general manager here.

Boston: I barely even recognize this organization anymore outside of Rafael Devers. The ownership group fired a respected executive like Chain Bloom for Craig Breslow (no offense, Craig. I like you as a person), and we’re expecting improvement with John Henry’s group becoming penny pinchers?!

Yep. You don’t deserve another title for a while. The Celtics covered for you this year.

Oh, Chris Sale is thriving in Atlanta? You’ve basically sucked since a certain 2020 trade went down??

And Mookie Betts won his second ring in LA?!

Ladies and Gentlemen, the curse of Mookie Betts is in effect!!! OH THE IRONY!!!

You refused to pay the man, he’s now won TWO titles in Los Angeles, and you’ve made the 2021 postseason, and that’s been it?!

Good god! I knew my Boston grudge disappeared when Cleveland got payback for 2007 in the 2016 ALDS, but I feel a little giddy for some reason.

Oh wait! JANITOR THROW!!!

Nearly forgot that one!

Tampa Bay: Good news: The team figured out its stadium situation... and that’s roughly where it ends. A certain player whose alleged conduct is sickening shall not be mentioned.

Even when the Rays figured out their future situation, now their immediate future for 2025 is in question. Tropicana Field was devastated and shredded by Hurricane Milton. If you haven’t seen the destruction, be warned.

Returning to the on-field product, the hitting was abysmal from several key starters (looking at you, Randy Arozarena!) and having a few pitchers recovering from Tommy John surgery.

Oh, Arozarena got traded. Of course he was.

AND SO DID AARON CIVALE!!!!! AFTER IT SEEMED THAT EVERY CLEVELAND FAN (Exaggeration) got ticked off that they flipped Civale to Tampa for Kyle Manzardo, he got flipped to MILWAUKEE!!

AND LOOK AT THAT!!! MANZARDO CAME UP CLUTCH UPON HIS SEPTEMBER 2024 RE-CALL AND IN THE POSTSEASON!!

The Rays’ mission: Restock for 2025 and beyond and still manage to finish around .500 baseball. That’s a good organization, especially with Junior Caminero potentially on breakout alert next year. I saw him in-person, and the dude oozes the potential to be a monster the remainder of the decade.

By the way, what a play by this ball boy back at the start of the year!

Toronto: The Blue Jays are an enigma. The talent has either been injured (Bo Bichette), inconsistent (too many to name), or just plain infuriating!

Bichette and Vlad Guerrero Jr. are free agents next winter. Kevin Gausman isn't getting any younger. The same goes for Jose Berrios.

Mark Shapiro's seat should be warmer than the sun if he's retained with General Manager Ross Atkins this winter. This team has underachieved for too long, and I'm seeing shades of Deja Vu with Toronto.

AL Central

Z – Cleveland: 92-69

Y – Kansas City: 86-76

Y – Detroit: 86-76

Minnesota: 82-80

CHI White Sox: 41-121

State of the AL Central:

Cleveland: “I will have an attachment to the Indians, but it doesn’t mean I’m going to love the Guardians any less. They aren’t moving and have a contending roster for the next two-to-three years. This team will be fine.

At the same time, I hear and have seen so many fans mourning the change, and I understand how you feel but imagine you win a World Series as the Guardians in the next few years. Wouldn’t that feel like a shot of good karma?

I’ll close by saying this to the fans who say they won’t root for the Cleveland Guardians next year and beyond: It’s your right, and your prerogative. But if the Guardians start having success, I will not let you climb onto the bandwagon right away.

We as fans will miss what we grew up with. Nobody likes change. I’m one of those people where change often gets me wound up outside of what I do day-to-day, but I assure you that everything will be okay.

For one final time, Go Indians and Go Tribe!”

Would you look at that?! The Fitzradamus counter is at two.

What I didn’t expect for the Guardians? The pitching to be injured so badly that there wasn’t enough depth on the farm to churn more arms out for the pitching factory.

This team relied on its lineup, a dominating bullpen (Emmanuel Clase for Cy Young!) and a patchwork rotation behind Tanner Bibee.

Shane Bieber? Injured.

Gavin Williams? Returned from injury.

Carlos Carassco? Sadly DFA’d

Tristan McKenzie and Logan Allen? Optioned to Triple-A Columbus.

Power, great hitting and so much more in first-year manager Stephen Vogt’s has made the loss of Terry Francona to retirement a far easier transition.

TRIGGER WARNING: Holy s***! Rick Manning has absolute zero chill! And this wasn’t the first time, either, apparently.

You want to know a big part of why the Guardians made it this far? There’s several reasons, but from my point of view, bringing back Austin Hedges ended up being more valuable than his 2024 WAR could ever indicate.

Even if he is a black hole offensively, the Guardians went out and got Lane Thomas at a far more palatable price at this year’s deadline.

Trading prospect Jose Tena probably hurt more than most would think, but Thomas’ ALDS Game 1 nuke and his ALDS Game 5 grand slam are why you got to the ALCS.

Also, one of my favorite home runs of all-time by Jhonkensy Noel against the Yankees in Game 3 of the ALCS. My mom and dad ~may or may not have been happy~ with me. As soon as the bat met the ball while watching at home, I immediately shot up from the couch and let out a yell. That’s the price my parents have to pay for my worldview of baseball (just kidding, guys. Love you, both!)

I’m also biased in favor of speedy outfielders with pop in their bats. I want Thomas to get a two-year extension (covering his final arbitration trip this winter and at least his age 30 season in 2026), so the talent on the farm can develop.

What a year, but Cleveland still owns the longest title drought in all of baseball so here’s what they have to do this winter:

• Re-sign Austin Hedges
• Brandon Woodruff type contract for Shane Bieber
• Trade Josh Naylor for pitching
• Extend Cade Smith and Steven Kwan
  Short-term Lane Thomas re-up
• The rest of this four-part thread I posted, which includes potential trying to sign Pete Alonso to pair with Kyle Manzardo.

I had so many angles to analyze here, but let’s save the rest for another day.

Kansas City: “What can I say about the Royals? I know they’ve got the pieces to rise from the doldrums and compete again.

My hesitancy lies with one or two players. Hunter Dozier hasn’t been the same since testing positive for COVID-19 prior to the opening series of the 2020 season in Cleveland and was brutal all year.

On top of that, Kansas City’s more promising arms haven’t truly stood out as legitimate aces. I see second starter stuff, but no one has made that jump as of yet.

I feel like I’m sleeping on them, but if Bobby Witt Jr. comes as good as advertised, perhaps things could change.”

I may or may not owe the Royals an apology. Consider this link to a post I could have left buried to represent that.

The Royals’ offseason signings paid off in spades, with Seth Lugo pitching like an ace the majority of the season.

Not only that, but one extremely important factor needs to be brought up here.

Bobby Witt Jr. came as good as advertised. Fitzradamus counter is at three.

And Witt Jr. got PAID!! Blowing all other contracts in the franchise’s history out of the water, I can only imagine what would have happened three years from now had Witt not signed that extension.

Congrats, Royals. Now don’t screw it up!

Detroit: “UH OH! THE TIGERS ARE GONNA BUILD ANOTHER JUGGERNAUT!!!

This isn’t me snarking. I am legitimately scared. Spencer Torkleson and others lurk in the minors while the big league roster has seen some of its best pitching talent move from the farm to the rotation.

This is the 2019 White Sox all over again. The AL Central will be very competitive moving forward if Detroit decides to spend money again.”

Fitzradamus strikes again! We are at four!! Even if they haven't spent the money wisely *cough* Javier Baez *cough*, they snagged the final wild card spot.

By the way, if you want to fix Baez, perhaps consider watching the film and read my critique!

My consulting fee on this matter is $500,000 USD.

Anyway, who’d have thought the Tigers could end the Astros and push Cleveland to the brink AFTER trading away Jack Flaherty?!

I’m impressed, but there’s another ticking time bomb.

Tarik Skubal is a Scott Boras client.

Have fun with those potential extension talks with your likely 2024 Cy Young winner!!

Minnesota: “This was such a disappointing season for the Twins. While there’s a couple of All-Star talents on the big league roster, how long will Derek Falvey take to flip them? And by them, I mean Josh Donaldson and Byron Buxton.

I didn’t expect such a massive fall but perhaps this reset is what they needed. The Twins finally got a look at future pieces.

I’m still shocked you managed to pry Austin Martin from the Blue Jays for Jose Berrios. If Martin pans out like I think he will… that’s a problem for the AL Central.”

If you’re reading this, that means you are on Voltage Live, a platform where I have also brought back Fitz On Sports as a podcast.

Episode 4 was released on Sept. 27. The Twinkies narrative starts at 3:50 and runs until 7:35. Please enjoy my I-had-way-too-much-fun-editing-this-totally-knowing-it-would-happen over the top chaos.

And yes, I’ve been looking to use that music bed since 2021!!! Thank you, Urinating Tree, for sending it my way a few years back.

Oh yeah!! BONUS EDITION IN EPISODE FIVE!! Time stamp is 25:00 to 27:25.

Try to claim the title in 2025, or I’ll make things even worse for you next time!
…

No, I’m not satisfied. Let’s have a very special guest send us off!

Who was the biggest disappointment in the American League this year?

“MINNESOTA!”

Ah, that’s better!!

Chicago: “Okay, congratulations White Sox, you’re going to the playoffs.

……

Here’s a piece of advice: Don’t waste this year. At least three of your divisional rivals will be true contenders over the next two years, and you’ll have to work for that crown again.”

This team was so horrible, I dare not describe it for the children reading this. Heck, this kid might be better than all of Chicago’s pitcher’s in three years’ time!

It got so bad they tabbed my childhood hero Grady Sizemore – the guy that made me want to be an outfielder – as interim manager. Sizemore has kept a mostly low profile since retiring from playing ball.

And the people still think he's hot (Grady's ladies, enjoy your moment).

This was not an intentional tank job. All I have to say is this team has bottomed out, and I'm not sure how you can rebound next year.

Worst team in baseball history. More losses than the 1962 Mets. IT IS SO MUCH HARDER TO PUT IN THE EFFORT TO LOSE A GAME THAN IT IS TO WIN ONE! I’m speaking from personal experience.

I will credit the social media team for trying their best to make light and joke around. Here are a few samples of their best posts. Example 1; Example 2 following the day of infamy; and this one.

You also want to know who to credit for this absolute collapse? I’ll give you a hint:  “DOWN GOES ANDERSON!!!”

Oh, what a wonderful call!

Back to reality, Garrett Crochett and Luis Robert are likely gone. All of that earlier rebuilding was wasted. And the Fitzradamus counter is at five.

See you in 2028!

AL West

X-Houston: 88-73

Seattle: 85-77

Texas: 78-84

Oakland: 69-93

LA Angels: 63-99

State of the AL West:

Houston: DETROIT!!!

THANK YOU!!!!!!!!

The team that wouldn’t say die! Oh my god, I should not be this happy.

But I am!!

To backtrack, Houston won their first legitimate title in 2022 and continued to make baseball furious with their seventh straight ALCS appearance.

A few weeks ago, the Astros seemed about ready to kick the bucket and become sellers. What, with Alex Bregman set for free agency this winter, that SHOULD be a loss.

I wasn’t ready to call them deadmen early in the year. I knew it was too good to be true.

And what’re the odds? AL West Champions… again. I almost despise you more than the Yankees because you have one title and another piece of tainted metal.

The question for Bregman is whether or not he follows George Springer and Carlos Correa to greener pastures or signs another extension? Even before that, there may or may not be a Kyle Tucker that needs an extension. I wouldn’t re-sign Bregman if I’m the Astros, as he’s never seemed to be a true superstar ever since the 2019 season ended, and the cheating scandal was revealed.

Can I finally say Houston seems vulnerable and mean it?!

Seattle: I don’t care about your 85 victories.

You blew it.

I’m very disappointed.

Yet, I am giving you this free pass against my better judgment. One more implosion and I’ll need a new moniker for you.

You all have been warned. Now, go away!

Texas: “I have nothing for you, just like the team on the field. Over 100 losses, and I have almost no drama from the Rangers for shred-worthy material.

Get out of my sight until next year! Normally I’m kinder to you, but I need to see you grow up a bit.”

Oh, the Rangers grew up. They splurged on Corey Seager, Marcus Semien, Jon Gray, and Jacob deGrom over the next few offseasons. Landing Nathan Eovaldi, Jordan Montgomery, Max Scherzer, and more.

The result was the franchise's first World Series title in 2023. Following the back-to-back heartbreaks to Philadelphia and St. Louis in 2010 and 2011, the Rangers easily put down the Diamondbacks for the trophy.

It still is disappointing they didn’t have a chance to defend their title, but that shiny new trophy gives you some protection for now.

The trophy only protects you through next October. Don’t screw it up again.

Oakland: Brandon, no censors here for this one time. I mean it!

Oakland lost their team and will be a traveling party until they reach Las Vegas. Fuck you, John Fisher! Incompetence at its finest and pulling a literal ‘Major League’ in Oakland.

Sickening. When MLB expands to 32 teams, they better have Oakland as one of them. I want you in the same division when you’re in Las Vegas, so the new Oakland team can kick your ass every year.

The players and Mark Kotsay, none of this is directed at you. In a sense, perhaps this could be akin to how Cleveland lost the original Browns to Baltimore.

Please make sure to keep roots in the Oakland community. They deserved better, and I hope they’ll get the expansion franchise to do so.

I’ll let Trevor May have the final word. Mason Miller, bravo for closing out the final home game like a boss.

LA Angels: If not for how audio would embed in this piece, I almost thought of voicing my frustration with Arte Moreno.

The guy should have sold the team. It’s putrid garbage. You wound up with an even worse season than Oakland.

OAKLAND!!

Not only did you waste Mike Trout’s career and greatness, look at what Shohei Ohtani did away from Anaheim!!!

The players aren’t at fault here. It’s up at the top and permeates through the organization.

So here’s the deal, Arte: First, trade Trout to an actual contender. Second, you will eat all the money on his contract to facilitate any deal to the destination of his choice. Finally, once that’s all done, you sell the franchise to someone competent.

I remember saying I was going to dismantle you if we did this in 2022. Trust me, you don’t want to know what I had planned back then. This reality check is ~far more tame~ in comparison.

_____________________________________________________

The National League!! The land of never-ending shredding and some incompetent fools still not learning their lessons. This is gonna be ~fuuuuun!~

_____________________________________________________

NL East

Z — Philadelphia: 95-67

Y — Atlanta: 89-73

Y — NY Mets: 89-73

Washington: 71-91

Miami: 62-100

State of the NL East:

Philadelphia: WTS: 2021 MLB Edition Part 2 Quote: “Make the playoffs or face the Fleagles' punishment! I won’t hesitate to pull the trigger!”

WTS: 2021 MLB Edition Part 3 Quote: That’s it! I don’t care about your over .500 record for the first time in ages! You completely screwed up and haven’t made it back to the postseason with the assembled talent, and Bryce Harper playing like an MVP!

The Philadelphia Flailies can’t seem to get over the damn hump and have given me another Philly punching bag!

~Enjoy another early holiday season guys!~ Ya earned it!!

I’ll make a compromise with you. Play at least average to start next year, and the Flailies moniker goes. You did get above .500, so I’m willing to play nice.

I apologize to Philadelphia, who are no longer a punching bag.

The last two postseasons haven’t been as great for Bryce Harper and co., but Dave Dombrowski built another good team!!

Also, I’m bringing the 2021 Reds narrative here for Nick Castellanos. Copy. Paste. Add in the new results below the following:

“For those not versed in the infamous legend of Nick Castellanos, he will hit home runs and destroy everything in his path on dates of historical or currently happening disasters. It doesn't matter when or where. He will do it, and even his wife cannot stop the internet from the memeing.

With that said, Nick Castellanos hit a home run on 9/11. His home run made it a 4-0 ballgame. Just like the god damn meme from 2020.

Intern Randy, please queue the Illuminati theme.

I won’t repeat the meme despite wanting to snark. This man is a walking calamity for moments of tragedy. I don’t know how MLB’s Big Nick does it, but he needs to stop for the sake of humanity!”

IT. STILL. KEEPS. HAPPENING!!!! IN 2024!!!!!

Example 1: Saying goodbye to the family dog.

You know what, let’s get a decent compilation of evidence in here.

Associate Mindy’s already on it! Phew!! Now– wait, Mindy?

*Mindy’s face is frozen*

~I’m pretty sure the worst moment over the past few years was the collapse of a bridge in Philly, right?~

*No answer*

Mindy, I’m being serious. Please tell me and Brandon that Castellanos didn’t…

*Mindy shows us the video*

Brandon. Just… how?! How does he do it? This surpasses even my own voodoo magic!

Let me calm down before I move on. Unfortunately, I can’t use that compilation.

That’s right! Just breathe! It’s okay.

Don’t worry, guys! I’m just going to the other corner and…

GAHHHHH IT’S NOT OKAY!!!!

Atlanta: “Well, congratulations! You’ve won another NL East title. I guess all those outfield trades worked out after all.

The bad news is I don’t think Atlanta is going very far. They don’t have the pitching, and Acuna still being down is not going to help matters.

Carry on.”

Okay, apologies owed here, and… Oh my god, what happened?!

Spencer Strider underwent Tommy John surgery.

The 2023 juggernaut offense was injured to hell. Ronald Acuna Jr. tearing his knee up again was shocking.

Yet, the hitting coach took the fall?!

Okay, you get a mulligan because you made the playoffs. Probably shouldn’t, but I’ll give ya the pass.

NY Mets: “Francisco Lindor hasn’t been the same player since 2018, and people know it. I won’t say anything more than that because I’m not getting my ass sued for anything but consider this a vague look into the world of Lindor.

…

LOLMets. PROVE ME WRONG FRANCISCO!”

This was the last narrative I needed to write. The 2024 New York Mets were a $300 million payroll wild card team, and there’s several gaffes I could point to – along with successes.

Yet, this might have proved the most challenging to write. Mainly due in part to how Francisco Lindor was treated early in the season.

The fans let him hear their displeasure, and it honestly went beyond the line of tolerance. The likes of Carlos Beltrán, Sandy Alomar, Tommy Pham, and Tomás Nido had all spoken to him in the hyperlinked video.

Then near the end of May, a spark was found. Come August and September, Lindor was playing like an MVP and the Mets put pressure on the Dodgers in the NLCS.

To see his smile come back brought me some nostalgia and warm feelings to my heart.

The Mets are always going to be a punching bag when they screw up and will be praised when warranted.

What wasn’t warranted was how truly negative Mets fans were to Lindor. I understand he has the contract, I do, though remember this: He is a person like you and I. If you take away his baseball accomplishments, there’s not much that makes him different.

This is a challenge to not just my readers, but everyone: Show some kindness and compassion to others. Don’t do it once a year or once a month. Challenge yourself to make the world a better place.

After all, it’s always better to see people’s smiles!

Washington: “Extend Juan Soto.

That’s it. Get it done. Get Stephen Strausburg and Patrick Corbin straightened out and then get back to me. I don’t care if you have to deal with Scott Boras. Fernando Tatis Jr. gave you at least one template to use.

You are dismissed. See ya next year, Nationals.”

They tried for well over $400 million and got turned down. Stunned was my reaction back then. No one can blame you for not getting him inked.

Thank god the Padres sent you MacKenzie Gore, C.J. Abrams, James Wood, and oodles of talent to hasten your return to relevance.

I mean, Abrams is an All-Star caliber shortstop–

Wait. Intern Allison, what’s this?

Abrams, you idiot!

That’s it! Adam Sandler, please do the honors (NOTE: Please click on the 'Watch on YouTube' link)!

‍

Miami: “I had such high hopes for you, but a 60 game season will do that. My stocks in the Marlins have been placed into 2022’s team at 20% faith and 80% in 2023.

Kim Ng is assembling a good roster, and it’s only a matter of time before things come together. Jeff Loria getting the hell out of dodge only started the healing process. Now comes the hard part of actually fielding the contender I see lurking around the corner.”

I FREAKING CALLED IT!!!!!!!! FITZTRADAMUS FROM 2021 STRIKES AGAIN!!! MAKE IT SIX!!!

80% in 2023. They made the playoffs!!!

Ya know what happened to Kim Ng after that?

Bruce Sherman and company decide they want to install someone else above Ng in the patriarchy hierarchy! Ng rightfully steps down of her own volition.

The Marlins went 62-100. ~And ya wonder why Miami can’t have nice things!~ This was deserved karma.

Oh, and by the way, Skip Schumacher – the 2023 NL Manager of the Year – is also gone… but of his own choice.

Associate Jason, I know you have PTSD from a few years ago, but I need Adam Sandler again.

NL Central

X – Milwaukee: 93-69

St. Louis: 83-79

CHI Cubs: 83-79

Cincinnati: 77-85

Pittsburgh: 76-86

State of the NL Central:

X-Milwaukee: “The Brewers managed to put together a very solid campaign and earned themselves a fourth straight trip to the Postseason.

The pitching is elite and right now, I wonder if the only thing that can stop them is themselves. I’d give them a fighting chance against the rest of the field with the five starters they have. It almost rivals some of Cleveland’s old rotations.

I want a Tampa Bay and Milwaukee World Series. Please do it!”

Initially, I was going to applaud you for winning the division. For signing Jackson Chourio to an already bargain-level extension. For so many things.

In the end, as I reflect on the 2024 Brewers, I’m bitterly disappointed.So much potential and it’s f****** wasted again.

If not for a certain someone’s plight, I’d shred you to smithereens right now. I have just enough mercy left in me prior to one more shredding.

I would say go and win the 2025 World Series, but I know you’ll choke it in the end.

St. Louis: “Hey, the Cardinals are the “Midwestern Evil Empire.” I don’t really pity them much.”

St. Louis seems… docile or is it non-threatening?

The baseball universe seems to be off its axis. I sense a shift here, and I really need some future foresight here.

Say goodbye to Paul Goldschmidt. Nolan Arenado? Maybe you, too.

CHI Cubs: The 2024 Cubs were irony personified.

You hire Craig Counsell from Milwaukee. Then, you dismiss David Ross in a shocker.

The team starts off hot as hell… to then plummet in May and June and never fully recover.

Not only that, the Brewers made the playoffs with Pat Murphy. I really would love to buy into the ‘inside job’ joke, but even I know as much as I chuckle, these guys are mostly lovable losers again!

I say all of this before the juggernaut reemerges and smothers us all.

Cincinnati: Terry Francona to Cincinnati?

Yeah, I was admittedly caught off guard, but I may have misinterpreted the situation. That’s all I’ll say here, but you can check out the podcast episode where I talked about it with Brandon!

If you want the very short summary: Francona is a very short-term option. Once he’s done his job with the talent on hand, the Reds might be a monster.

Click the link. I gave you all my thoughts there.

Pittsburgh: “At this point, I only acknowledge the Pirates' existence. I’ve beaten them to a bloody pulp a few too many times to make it funny anymore.

Enjoy your get out of jail free card Pittsburgh. I am merciful when the circumstances warrant it or on a whim.”

Paul Skenes.

That’s all I have to say. He’s probably one of the 10 best pitchers on the planet right now. That might even be underselling how good he was.

Heck, fellow Rookie Jared Jones was almost as impressive for a good chunk of the year. Overshadowed by Skenes, he needs his credit, too.

I also want to take a jab at you guys for Rowdy Tellez, but I’m going to let ya off the hook.

If you screw up before next year, don’t think I won’t end up going scorched earth on Bob Nutting’s ownership.

NL West

Z — LA Dodgers: 98-64

Y — San Diego: 93-69

Arizona: 89-73

San Francisco: 80-82

Colorado: 61-101

State of the NL West:

LA Dodgers: Folks,

Freddie Freeman’s eventual statue for this 2024 World Series victory is already being sketched out on Tuesday, Oct. 29, 2024, at 8:20 p.m. ET.

It better be the Kirk Gibson Parrallel from Game 1. AND DON’T BUTCHER IT LIKE DWAYNE WADE’S MIAMI HEAT STATUE!!!!!

Hold on. I knew Freeman was playing on a bum ankle. He earned World Series MVP while playing with broken rib cartilage… Something nearly no other human being on this planet could accomplish.

Sure, they’re the big market. They got Ohtani, who casually became the founding member of the 50 home run-50 stolen base club.

Let's also give some props to this umpire for not rushing the moment!

Yoshinobu Yamamoto from Japan brought in to help the rotation for $325 million. Teoscar Hernandez on a pillow deal… you get the point.

But I despise those goddamn YANKEES FROM THE BRONX EVEN MORE!!!! When the Yankees lose, America wins.

And Clayton Kershaw has me in tears.

That is the look and sound of a man who is ready to retire and can do so happily with that moment. Man, my childhood is disappearing more and more each passing year!!

Intern Jake… I need a box of tissues!!

I am legitimately crying!! I'm not kidding!!! I have tears running down my face from the last few sentences here that I've typed on my phone.

If this isn't out until Nov. 5, 2024 or later, this was why and I'm not kidding!!

Thank you Ohtani for giving Kershaw a (potential) proper sendoff!!!

San Diego: “Disappointing.

The expectations of this San Diego Padres squad may have been a bit unfair after the progress made during the 60 game season and postseason.

Jayce Tingler has been ousted and right now, AJ Preller has some serious questions to address with one of the games highest payrolls.

…

Still, if you put a gun to my head and asked me how they fare in 2022, I’d tell you one of the two wild cards because the Giants will likely regress, and the Dodgers will still be tough to beat.

You blew it, but I’ll let ya guys off the hook. Just make sure you fix the pitching and that should flip a few games over to the win column.”

Associate Paul, I have a question. How many times have we hit on the Fitztradamus counter?

…

This is No. 7? Okay, cool.

Anyway, a game-ending triple play to clinch a playoff berth? If that’s not on every MLB highlight reel for the rest of time, I don’t know what tops that.

You know who the Padres did this to? The Dodgers.

This was an exciting season, but let’s be real: This team is going to have some serious questions next year. Joe Musgrove is likely out until 2026, and Dylan Cease has limited control. I won’t be shocked by another regression.

Arizona: I feel bad for Arizona.

To watch the Mets and Braves celebrate hundreds of miles away following a double-header due to extreme weather, the reigning NL pennant winners of a year ago were left out of the postseason.

It was a solid season. There was one massive problem that people may have forgotten.

Corbin Carroll was a shell of himself until near the end of the year.

I would like to think the franchise cornerstone bounces back, I do! Carroll is such a fun and exciting player, yet, if he doesn’t build on that end of year momentum with a core also made of Ketel Marte (they did not trade him! I’m pleasantly surprised!), Gabriel Moreno, Eugenio Suarez (HE’S FINALLY BEEN FIXED… Hopefully?), etc.

Sans the residents of Mile High, this may very well be a division of death over the next few seasons.

San Francisco: Normally this wouldn’t be a sentimental narrative, but the passing of the legendary Willie Mays changed that.

The only thing before I keep going on my original thought is Buster Posey did what former president Farhan Zaidi couldn’t: Lock up star talent by intervening into Matt Chapman extension talks. That’s why Zaidi lost his job and Posey now is a head honcho.

Back on track with Mays.

One of the best baseball players to ever exist, the Giants franchise saw No. 24 patrol the outfield for many years prior to his passing this summer. The news came just before the Giants and Cardinals played a game at Rickwood Field.

Growing up and when I competed on varsity in high school, I was an outfielder. The No. 24 Mays wore was worn by my first favorite player – Grady Sizemore. I wanted to do the same someday.

The short version is I wound up wearing the No. 18, but the ‘Say Hey Kid’s’ impact on the game goes beyond anything I’m capable of describing.

He was an icon of unparalleled skill. My heart sank when the news came through, as we lost a living legend who made the game of baseball even better.

Rest in power, Willie Mays. You will be missed.

Colorado: “I’m going to say this once. The Rockies are colossal, royal screw-ups who don’t deserve another word after this.

~I hope the compensation pick from Trevor Story is worth not bringing back pieces to assist the rebuilding process you schmucks!~”

That was me back at the end of 2021. You want to know how things went the next few years?

Not great. I could have left the 2021 statement alone and no one would have batted an eye. Heck, even Kris Bryant has to have some regrets for going to Mile High.

Fast forward to March 28, 2024, and its Opening Day for all MLB teams (sans the special Korea series between the Dodgers and Padres).

On that day, the Rockies accomplished a feat of futility: Giving up 14 runs in the third inning.

I did the only reasonable thing I could do that night: Declared the Rockies eliminated from postseason contention (apologies to my buddy, Ian).

They are still colossal screw ups. They have Ezequil Tovar and Ryan McMahon but is there any hope in Mile High?

Send these failures to the corner!

__________________________________________________________________

It was fun for me to go back to my roots here. I haven’t been able to let loose like that in a while.

No promises for next year. Club option TBD. Big thanks to Brandon Lewis and everyone else. Now we can turn our attention back to the NFL season's Part 2.

OMG!!!! ASSOCIATES JASON AND PAUL FOUND AND DETAINED INTERN ZACK IN 2014!!!

I must be going, folks. Important business to attend to and all.

We’ll talk soon!

‍